Crossroads

At the crossroads of my life now. Extremely tired these past few days thinking about you and my future, had 4hrs of total sleep for the previous two days and came back to Sg straight to my uncles place for his funeral prayers. Im dead tired crying about everything and faking a smile whenever I'm in public. Wasted 3yrs trying to keep the love I had with the first and only girl I love till this very moment. I have to stop being so pathetic, I regret that you don't want anything with me anymore it wasn't like I treated you badly but hey I was wrong to have not known that you were young and didn't know what you wanted in this life. I have time now and I need to get my act together, have so many other things to think about like getting myself through Uni and achieving a good career. I think it's time I aligned my priorities accordingly on what's of greater importance in my life. Love can wait for another time in the future. Hey it's not like someone is desperately wanting to be with me anyways. Also I can't remember what is happiness anymore and even if I do I think it's a feeling suited for me anymore. To a better tomorrow :)

Wish

I just wish to be a better person. I know it's simply said but many if not most of us can't achieve this at all. I try my best every day and I always get broken down. Sometimes I just think its the way I think cause I've become a real negative towards myself. I understand all of this yet I can't seem to sort out the problems cause they are not refrained to thoughts alone. They are all so fucking real. It hurts alot but I try to pick myself up and carry in with life. I am just scared that every time I break a piece of me is broken and wonder what will happen when all the pieces of me crack? Would I be able to continue living? Would I have the strength to face anything this world throws at me? In one word I can say no but I'll really try my damn hardest to make things work before I go out of this "game"

A new year

What do I want for this new year is the question on most people's mind. Well the definite answer is things that make them happier of course! From the item they have been wanting to purchase to the job they want to be doing, it's all about what you can draw happiness from. For me happiness is you it's that simple. I don't have to be spending all day or all my time Appsing you but once in awhile to get a whatsapp to get a conversation or even if I'm lucky to have a short meet up with you do you know what I'd give to enjoy all this with you? I'm really happy when you're here with me and god knows how crazy I am over you! I love you Zulaiqah Zulkifli and id give anything to make this year a blessed year for us. My wish this year is to end it with you being my partner in life till the end of time. :)