My Dear

Hi Ladies & Gentleman and to whoever is reading my blog, thank you for reading my first post! Okay I know the Profile pic for my blog is abit crappy but hey, it was taken from  someone I love dearly and also it was taken at a time when I was on my way to becoming happy again for the second time in my life. Want to know who took the photo? Well it's this girl right here.

She looks cute doesn't she? Well she looks beautiful to me and she is an amazing girl. I've not known anyone who has been through a tough life like hers and still manage to hold her ground. Similarly to me she has had loads of problems and being of a young age she managed to be so strong and has always been the judge of her happiness. I loved her mainly for the reason that she was someone strong and for me she was my first so I was able to trust her with my heart and while we were dating we saw that we had much in common and longed for someone like one another. We had some great times she and me, first time I met her at the FOP camp while I was a student leader ad she a freshie. I can still remember the time when she introduced herself, how cheerful she looked and how her smile lit up like she had no care. The kind of innocence that a guy like me would like in a girl. We chatted after that on Fb and I also made fun of her asking her when she's about what 156cm to go participate for the tug of war between schools and how she replied still shocks me to this very day, She could still answer "Yes!" II was like taken aback can! Hahahahaa. Fop ended and we continued chatting and then we decided to take the same bus to sch for her first day, the bus rides i would come to love was taking 169 with her. A journey from her place to sch was approx 30-45 mins and we'd talk and I'd be shy to put my hands around her and she'd act like she has fallen "asleep" and sleep on my shoulder. She was a cheeky girl, first girl to ever do that to me and in my heart I was thinking that I felt special to someone, I mean never had a girl fallen asleep on my shoulders and that too on purpose. It was a nice feeling, a feeling I still think about now. Days went on till I finally managed to get the courage to put my arms around her and then slowly things started progressing from there, hugs, kisses, hanging out daily and getting to know each other better. Eventually slightly before the first year into our relationship we had huge arguments and I admit I had pushed her away several times, it wasn't because I didn't love her but more of a fear that She doesn't love me and I had to find out if she still did. Arguments became more frequent and then finally after "celebrating" our first year together she had decided she had enough and broke up with me for another guy. I made my wrongs, hit her once and am really sorry about it. It wasn't right but in anger we do things without thinking. I lost her so fast and all my efforts back then to get her back, from calling her hundred over times to trying to meet up with her even though my Grandmother passed away recently in that week itself all went to waste and she attached herself to another guy while I was left alone to figure out what is it that I could do alone at that moment. I eventually started dating again and had gotten to know many of my dates and tried real hard to make things click and work but nothing seem to work. All I could do was wait and try again for another girl till it works out or something. While i was dating I also did the foolish thing of still checking up on you and your bf back then to see if you guys are okay and to know if you're happy but sometimes what I see was what I never wanted to know. I always just want you to be happy that's all, doesn't matter if it's with me but I wanted you to be happy out there full-stop. Soon after breaking up and having a 3 month relationship with him I found myself seeing a "Hi......." on my msn. It was all good as I didnt have anyone and I really did miss you. Eventually we started going out again and I had to try even harder to get you to have a relationship with me again. So we managed to work things together and enjoyed the next few months but all good things come to an end. We only enjoyed 7-8 months of happiness as alot of shit happened, I messed up huge and you still had the heart to forgive me and now we just lost it all. You're interested in another guy again and I just want you to be happy. Life is like this, we don't necessarily get what we want but we have to understand why such things happen, learn from the experiences and become a better individual. I love you very much to this day but it is not me that you want and need, I think. It was nice knowing you, Zulaiqah Zulkili and I hope you have a blessed life. I'll love you forever and always alright, I promised :)

Here's some of the memories we had,

Thank you for everything, I miss you. I love you and maybe one day you'll come back to me. Be happy wherever you may be now dear.